They eyed me with a decidedly mean look as I struggled through the barbed wire fence with my saucepan in tow. All eyes rotated in my direction even those that could not see me directly. Nervously I monitored their disposition as I made my way to the small stream that meandered through the culvert under the road. Slowly edging ever closer to me the leaders seemed to tense up as they prepared for action. Clearly they were on the verge of becoming a mob instead of a herd but I had no choice. I had to press forward. We needed the water.

Our predicament was just the latest in a series of disturbing incidents that assailed us on this BC (Before Children) camping trip to see grandma Oddball’s grandmother in Minnesota. At the insistence of grandma Oddball we took our cat along. That was fun especially during the lightening storm we encountered in Canada but the real problem was that our car was deficient. The tires were retreads and unknown to us the radiator cap seal was cracked. This led to a series of near disasters of which my current difficulty was just the latest.

Of course being young, ignorant and somewhat foolish didn’t help much. Actually we got away with a lot of stuff until we hit Montana. It all started mildly enough at breakfast. All through Canada, Minnesota and North Dakota I was very hungry in the morning. In a concerted effort to appease that hunger I would invariably order what I hoped was a large breakfast of ham, eggs and hash browns and just as invariably I was frustrated. The servings were small and I usually got a wimpy thin slice of ham that looked more like Canadian bacon than a decent ham slice.

By the time we reached Montana I’d had enough. No more ham and eggs for me! Instead I decided to replace the ham with sausage. At least I’d feel less frustrated. Trying to get an early start we left early deciding to stop for breakfast on the road. Traveling west through eastern Montana we eventually stopped at a little cafe in Miles City where we ordered breakfast.

True to my resolution I ordered some sausage, eggs and hash browns while for once grandma Oddball decided to splurge by ordering my old standby of ham, eggs and hash browns. All was fine until the orders arrived. I guess they thought that I was on some sort of a diet as I only received a tiny plate of eggs with a miniscule helping of hash browns and two tiny sausages but that wasn’t what got to me. By then I’d become resigned to living with small hunger pangs.

Not so grandma Oddball! They must have thought she was a field hand! The waitress brought a huge plate of eggs with a mountain of hash browns. Off to the side was a slab of ham fully 5X8 inches almost a half an inch thick. I was flabbergasted at the unfairness of life.

As I enviously eyed her bounty a smirk crossed grandma Oddball’s face. Slowly, everrrr soooo slowllly she carefully and ostentatiously started eating clearly savoring every bite for my benefit. Casually I also started eating before asking, “Are you going to eat all of that?”

Grandma didn’t immediately answer. Continuing to ostentatiously eat she eventually replied,”Yes.” All the while that blasted smirk continued to adorn her and bug me.

I finished my breakfast quickly but not grandma Oddball. She took an interminable amount of time while she ate every bite of that breakfast despite my most pathetic look.

I was not in a good mood as we resumed our trip so I had grandma Oddball drive the next leg of the trip. She didn’t object and seemed in an unusually happy mood as we continued our trip. I, on the other hand, was not amused.

It was exceedingly hot that Montana summer and that didn’t help matters. All went well for about an hour. Montana didn’t have speed limits so we tooled along on a narrow two lane highway well above 70 MPH with the windows open trying to make time and cool off when it happened. The oppressive heat had taken its toll and an overheated rear tire (a retread) blew out.

Grandma was a trooper and didn’t panic. While I repeatedly and probably needlessly said,”don’t brake,” she took her foot off the accelerator and did a nice controlled stop but she was quite shaken. Grandma is convinced to this day that I always make her drive the dangerous trip legs. Fortunately the incident banished my bad mood so I suppose it did have some good effect.

After I changed the tire we resumed our travels except that I now drove. Few people lived in that part of Montana. The highway was nearly deserted and we seldom saw another car. The heat was nearly debilitating and as we drove we rapidly depleted our supply of drinking water.

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